"Absence makes the Heart grow Fungus"

Being happy doesn't mean the absence of negative feelings. Often times we think that way. Sometimes we find the pursuit of happiness quite elusive even though we feel like we can see it in our minds when we get close it's not what it's made out to be.

Being 'happy' isn't about being joyous and cheerful and constantly smiling all the time (yuck). True happiness comes in the form of experience and bringing in the good with the bad and learning how to deal with 'the bad.' You can't avoid 'the bad' but you can reframe it and build yourself a strong balanced mental and physical well being.

There's an entire industry built on 'BEING HAPPY!' but being happy is not a means to the end it's actually the journey. Emotional flexibility will provide a clarity for your journey. If you get what you want that is not being happy that is just a goal. The journey will open you up to the activities that will bring a full life.

Dr.Martin Seligman (psychologist) wrote a book called Flourish and created a term called "PERMA".

The acronym stands for:

Positive Emotion: Peace, gratitude, satisfaction, pleasure, inspiration, hope, curiosity, and love are in this category.

Engagement: Losing ourselves to a task or project that provides us with a sense of 'disappeared time' because we are so highly engaged.

Relationships: People who have meaningful positive relationships with others are happier than those who do not.

Meaning: Meaning comes from serving a cause bigger than ourselves.

Accomplishment/Achievement: To feel significant life satisfaction, we must strive to better ourselves in some way.

Would you train for any activity (e.g. marathon)? Of course you would. So, treat happiness not as a 'slap a smile on your face' and hope the problem goes away. Take a stressor and learn how to deal with it through resilience which will lead to gratitude. Happiness is part of that journey.